stop this ride, i wanna get off.
12:29 a.m. on 2005-06-18
i may leave and go to the er soon. i feel like shit. i can't even explain it. i feel almost out of my body. i'm hot, buti keep gettin intense chills... my head is throbbing/pounding, tearing, my jaw is so incredibly tense i can hardly move it, i'm dizzy, lightheaded, shaking, i know i'm exhausted but i can't close my eyes... i'm trying to drink water but every sip i take i get nauseous. maybe i'll hop in the shower for a sec... take a cool bath, then a warm shower or somethin... go to bed and see how i feel in the morning... but i'm just feeling so wierd and i'm scared. i dont like feeling like this. i've never felt like this. i've never been in this much pain, and felt so disconnected. the only part of my body that feels actually real is the back of my skull, where it feels like something is ready to burst out of it. then a wave of heat rolls over me, then following that, a freezing chill... both reminding me that yes, i am still in my body. fuck. i really do not like this... i think i'm gonna go try the shower and then bed... hopefully that helps... if not, off to the er i go.
