only one i want...
11:39 p.m. on 2005-04-27
i wanna take a roadtrip to visit justin. he's tellin me i should go on memorial day weekend (or is it labor day commin up in may?) cuz that weekend is 1)detroit electronic music festival, and 2)he's playin a show. but the bad thing about that, i wouldn't get to spend too much time with him cuz he'll still be with his gf. but, he's also sposed to go to kansas city sometime in june for a cousins wedding. i thought i could meet him halfway, or he may drive and come see me... i told him i could hide him in my closet. or my bed. either one works for me. lol. but i miss that boy like mad, talking to him makes me smile. i look forward to hearing his voice... i adore this boy. i want to just lay in his arms, just the thought of being with him makes me smile. his honesty is refreshing, his smile intoxicating, everything about him... *sighs* now i'm just waiting for him to get online so i can talk to him. i know that he's with her right now, and i'm ok with that. as much as i care about him, i know that right now, we can't be together, and he should be happy with someone else if i can't be the one to make him happy... and while he's touring, i'm ok with sharing him withthe world. i wish i could find someone else right now that i even really want to be with tho... i mean, i'm horribly lonely, but he's the only one i want... well, there's one person that i think i could "settle" for. but he seems like an awesome guy too... it wouldn't be settling, well, other than it's not who i REALLY want... but he seems sweet, cute, funny, just doesn't seem too interested... i think his mind's on someone far away too... i miss justin. *sniff* i want him with me... or this other guy to cuddle with... someone... i need to cuddle. just a hug would be nice... *sighs* i need more attention than i can get over the phone or online. i want someone to hold me, i wish i could go out all night and just sleep with someone... cuddle up and go to sleep, i like waking up next to someone i care about... i need that... i'm all lonely and emo. i need friends. but yeah... i think i'm done ranting for now... g'night.
