i want you to want me
3:24 a.m. on 2005-03-17
wow... i dont get on here much anymore. guess that's what workin full time and school will do tho... *shrugs* still tryin to work on the template... thinkin an emily strange pic (got a few that, while they dont particularly match the lyrics, are still cool) got most of what i think the coding will be done, just gotta add the pic and work out any kinks... think i still have a LOT of work to do on the archives page... but i'll get to that eventually... just got back from kyles... his ex wants him back. he's at least over her enough that he says he prolly wouldn't go back to her and even if he did he wouldnt be able to sleep with her, but i still know he has no romantic interest in me anymore... i should give up and move on... talked to my friend dan from hs on my way home from kyle's... dan just seems so nieve and innocent. total sweetheart. i want to get drunk with him. i thikn it would be amusing. our personalities are so different that it would be hilarious... at work there's a new guy that reminds me so much of my friend justin it's scary. and speaking of justin, since gaby may not stay in vegas (and even if she does she hasn't been talkin to me *sniff*) justin and i may move in together. just possibilities for now. gotta try to get out to vegas asap. kyle wants to go with me and says we both need a vacation bad. he's even willing to front me the money so we can go. he knows that i'd wait till i have everything else done... and that would take forever. i should talk to my parents and then ask for the days off... maybe tomorrow or something...i do think at the rate i'm goin i'm gonna burn out. and prolly soon... i need more friends. i want a boyfriend. and i know that i need to just let things happen, but i just want to be with someone who wants to be with me... and i mean, kyle is great to hang out with, but i want more and it's not gonna happen any time soon that i can see... i wont lie, i need the sex too... haha, so if anyone has any single, cool friends in CO, hook me up. lol. yeah right, i doubt someone trying to hook me up would work, but yeah, i am kinda desperate... i mean, i haven't seriously dated anyone since brandon... that's too long... i need to at least go on dates sometimes... play the field a bit... *shrugs* i've been needy, but not depressed lately. i mean, not to my normal extent. my outlook has been better (cept financially) and i'm doing well juggling everything right now... i just need to keep it up... and find someone willing to put up with how needy i am... i can't help it. i like attention. i haven't cut since november either. and that's with all the moving bullshit, everything. i really am proud of myself for that. i mean, yeah, it's only a few months, but i think it's the longest i've gone. i dont even think about it as often anymore... now all i gotta do is figure out these goddamned headaches and i'll be good. yeah, i think that's enough rambling and catching up for now.
