wierdness....
11:14 p.m. on 2005-01-23
i feel really wierd right now... very spacey... almost like i'm watching myself doing everything... kinda got a headache, but its dull... distant... i'm not really in my own head right now... my hands aren't connected to my brain or my body, but to my thoughts... i'm not typing this, but my thoughts are just being broadcast onto the screan... creepy. went and saw phantom of the opera with my lil sis this evening. amazing. i love musicals. webber is a fucking god. left the theater wanting to sing the songs in the show, but not wanting to because i knew i'd butcher them. *sighs* friday i have a "date" with kyle... we're gonna see hide and seek. i can't wait to see that movie... he wanted to hang out today, but i didn't really... i mean, i wanted to see him, but i'm sick of doing nothing with him... just driving around or sitting around isn't enough for me... i mean, i love spending time with him and want to be with him, but just sitting around doing nothing... no. wanted to get him to go to rocky horror with me last night we were sitting in my room, he was just lying on my floor... wow, so exciting. but he didn't wanna go... i dony get this guy... wish i did... maybe someday. lol. can't wait for my interview on tuesday... hoping that i didn't get the wrong impression in thinking that this interview is more just a meeting to discuss salary and uniform... i need to get working!!! i need something to do!!! haven't been smoking much... had 2 cigs today, one yesterday... know that if i work at a restaurant i'll prolly start smoking more.. come on, when the only breaks they give you are if you need a cig break, you smoke all the cigs you can... or thats how it was at joey bistro (FUCK THE BISTRO!) gah... still very disconected from everything around me... maybe i'll go try to read for a bit... not at all tired, but lying down seems a good idea... this feeling is fucking wierd... i feel almost like i'm tweaking... (i swear i'm not... i've been clean of all but the greens since i've been back in CO) gah... this feeling sucks ass... my mind is racing but my body feels as though i'm moving through peanut butter or some such thick substance. i need to get up and move, but for some reason getting up sounds almost frightening... this is wierd... i want it to stop... gah... someone should call me... i wanna talk to someone. yeah... that'd be nice... call me... someone... anyone... get me out of my mind...
