shrinks, ankle, finals, and next semester...
3:01 p.m. on 2004-12-14
just got back from the shrink. didn't go bad... i'm actually feeling ok right now... as alwasy, depressed, but able to cope. i'd rather be at this place than anywhere else... i can handle this... i can focus, accomplish things, be social to an extent, but i'm still crazy. i'm afraid of anything better than this... it's a question of worth... do i deserve more??? should i settle for this? for now i am... settling is something i'm good at... i dont go for better when there's good enough... i should work on changing that... talked to the shrink about family, school, friends... brought up the whole gaby/mike situation. he seems to think i should stand up for myself "who needs a friend who'll treat you like that?" that's how dina sees it too... i really do value gaby as a friend tho... i dunno... maybe i should tell her that it really does hurt me a lot that she's always going over there, ditching us for him, talking about him all the time... he is not a good person, he proved that with how he's handling things with me... and she's not being a very good person with how she's handling it either... i just need closure... my mother comes in on friday... i though she came on thursday, but hey, friday works a lot better. by then i'm done with my finals, we just get to go shop, etc. then saturday i'm getting my hair cut... thinkin it's gonna be long bangs in the front, then short and spikey in back. if i get a job where i can dye my hair i'm gonna die the front pink, keep the back black. yay. my ankles still givin me shit... prolly from sat night. i shouldnt have been walking on it so much... but it didn't hurt at the time and i'm stubborn, so, i just walked on it, didn't even put the brace on. oops. oh well. started registering for classes... so far i have: world lit, french, pep band, lodging management... prolly gonna add history of rock music and communications and call it good. that's 16 credits, and none of the classes seem that hard... i should be fine... and i'm trying to keep it so that i dont have class on friday. so far so good... woohoo. but i'm being crazy and signed up for 8:30 classes monday-thursday... but then i'm out early and can work. and it'll get me on a better sleep schedule. well, i think i'm gonna hop in the shower, go get some food and try to nurse my ankle a bit... it's drivin me up the wall... maybe something interesting will happen later in the day that i'll want to write more... or maybe not...
