xmas, morons, new clothes and winter break
12:02 a.m. on 2004-12-08
went looking at christmas lights with my girls tonight. it was fun. cept their choice of music... not cool. torture is more accurate. nelly. *shudders* i've been smoking too much and my cold isn't going away. maybe it's stress. i hate this time of year. espeically with everyone pretending to be so nice. i'm not a nice person. get over it. i'm not gonna be nice just cuz it's "the most wonderful time of the year" fuck you all. i'll stick in my misanthropic shell thanks. stupid people make it all the easier to stay that way. to be a pessimistic bitch. i kinda like it that way. i'm really getting pissed at mike. i should be over this bullshit but i'm not. i wrote to him almost 2 weeks ago. telling him everything i needed to say, and not so much as a "hey, i got yer note." that pisses me off. i talked to gaby about it, had her read my note. she agrees with me. i'm being the mature one in this situation. i know that they like each other a lot. i just hate that they started out by goin behind my back. i'm totally over being mad at gaby. slightly dissapointed she wouldn't tell me sooner, and irked that she talks about him nonstop... but i really don't have a place to complain... *shrugs* i wish he would just talk it out with me. explain his side of this whole situation. then i can get over it. how hard can it be to tell someone what you think? especially with all the opportunity i've given him??? he's just a jackass. that's all i have to say. and i hope gaby sees that before he hurts her too. i've been thinking more and more about chris lately. and the more i've been thinking of him, the less he's been talking to me... i text him every once in a while, and normally i'll get some sort of reply, but nothing the past few days... i went over to alex's on friday tho... and he called just as i was leaving... i don't think he'd be upset that i was with alex... i mean, they're good friends, i know chris knows my history with alex, and he knows how alex is... so i hope that's not an issue at all... i mean, there's no reason it should be... chris has no claim over me, and neither does alex... tho gaby and kelly looked at my horrescope and all signs point to me getting lucky on thursday (abstract is playing a show, of course i'm going!) and kelly has decided that i will have sex with chris before we leave for winter break, so, i made a shirt today, which is so hot... i'm so proud of myself. originally it was a black tank top about 3 sizes too big that says Hollywood outlined in silver glitter. now, i cut out the sides and safety pinned them together (making the shirt smaller, now fitting perfectly) and took out the upper back and replacing it with fishnet. i'm so proud of it. it's totally me too. yay. so, it gets worn on thursday with a really short tight skirt and fishnet tights. yeah. i'm gonna look amazing. so excited. lol. i hate sounding cocky cuz i always feel so self conciuos, but i know this outfit will look good on me... i hope so anyways... i really wish i could loose a few pounds... ok, more than a few... maybe 50? gah. that'll take forever. and i'm such a fat kid, me? diet? ha. i wish. and exersize? gimme a break. i want to, i just never get around to it... and the gyms on campus are so small. i like big gyms where i can blend in and go unnoticed. eventually i'll get to it... i need to if i want my job at hooters in a year! maybe i could make some money selling my clothes... everyone seems to like what i make... it's just a matter of startup costs and finding clients... and deciding how much to charge... plus i'd hafta get a real sewing machine... safety pins are cool, but seriously, i need hems too... *sighs* it wont happen for quite some time... oh well... found out that the entire time i'm working at the y i wont have a single shift with kristi. unless they change the schedule again *crosses fingers* i've missed that girl so much it's not even funny. her husband is going to do my first tattoo eventually. i wish i could get it done soon... but i can wait... if i could afford it and knew i could hide it, i'd get it done over break. but since neither of those are guarentees, i cant yet... i'm really hoping chris and alex come visit me over winter break. i could really use the company. and the escape from my family. i'd prolly have kristi help me out and say i was staying at her place for the night... of course she'd come clubbing with us. it would be awesome. *crosses fingers* but yeah, i think we're gonna go watch dracula now. so, i'm off. hopefully good news will come after thursday!!!
