needin some help from my faithful readers (or reader... lol)
2:31 a.m. on 2004-11-08
more family time today... not too bad... not great either tho... talked with parents... actually some of the talking i wasdreading... didn't go too bad... my dad brought up homosexuality and said that i could be gay and he wouldn't care... but how he brought that up was wierd... just "i know you have a lot of gay friends, and you may be gay yourself, but we just want you to be happy" wtf??? but yeah, they have a lil list of things i must do the rest of this semester and if i dont get that all done then i move home after winter break. lovely. so, guess i'm gettin all that shit done... gaby called me earlier, asked if i was gonna stay in my room tonight... i said i wasn't sure but i'd come over when/if i did... i did, and when i got there she was in bed... asleep... but julie and i talked, she woke up, kelly came in, we watched mean girls, with the others there i didn't bring anything up... so yeah... tomorrow i will... i need to talk to her... i haven't done ANYTHING WRONG in this situation. i just need some honesty from her... i just need to know. last night i was looking at stuff about horescopes and found a lot about scorpios... i am a true scorpio in most senses... i just think a lot more than most before i speak. well, if ya wanna read and see how much of it is true (and a LOT of it is...) check it out here but the main thing are some of the likes/dislikes: LIKES Truth Hidden Causes Being involved Work That is Meaningful Being Persuasive DISLIKES Being Given Only Surface data Taken Advantage of Demeaning Jobs Shallow Relationships Flattery and Flattering all very true... the least of which tho is the shallow relationships one... i mean, i do tend to have some pretty shallow relationships, and i dont mind them, but yeah, i do often want more... also very true are the more common traits of scorpios and the dark ones too... "Determined and forceful Emotional and intuitive Powerful and passionate Exciting and magnetic" then the dark ones... "Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate" hm... any of those sound like me??? yeah... thought so. i was reading this to kelly and we kept bursting out laughing when something was all too true about me...
i'm going to set up a new layout for this diary. i know what the quote will be on it, i just need a good picture. i want one that is VERY personal, and dark, but still beautiful and in a way hopeful if i can find it... it needs to be of a butterfly too... see, my mom got me this journal, and the quote on the front is too beautiful to not put on here and i really want to follow this... i need encouraging words here... i want to get better and keeping this depressing layout isn't gonna help me too much... so, anyone willing to help me out, i'd really really appreciate it. oh, and the quote is : "just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly" i dont care at all about color scheme (i'll make it work)i'd like to make this a living layout... maybe start out with something of a cacoon, then move to a pic of a buterfly emerging, then to one in flight as my life starts to take flight... right now i'm still in the cacoon... i would like it to get brighter as it progresses, but still with a lot of intensity even if it's not filled with sadness as the others seem to have been... make any sense??? well, if anyone has ideas and wants to bounce them off me let me know. this diary is my baby and i like to make it look nice... i mean, i didn't do a bad job with this layout, right??? ok, so it needs some tweaking, especially in the font size (i've had some complaints about not being able to read it) so yeah, help me out... challenge to any faithful readers (wait, i think gary's the only one that ever reads this. so, if ya wanna help me, you're so talented and i would give you all the credit you'd like. plus i'd just love ya forever... i'd be willing to code a template for you if you'd like too in return, i still think you need more than what you have...) so yeah... it's 3am and i think my dad is sposed to call me around 8... lovely. i think i should sleep, i haven't been doing much of that lately... so yeah... i think i'm done...
